It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's rum buckets o'clock
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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