omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
