In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
