pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
