i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
