so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
