Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
