just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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