he shaved USA in his pubs
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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