How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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