I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
