You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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