remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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