i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
