i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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