why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
