when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
