He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need a beard to bite.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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