haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
