you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
