Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
