Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
