So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
