This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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