I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
