bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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