Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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