16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
