does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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