normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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