hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
