Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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