yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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