I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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