my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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