we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
