i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
