I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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