fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
