Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
