They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
