Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so that wasnt chicken after all
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
