sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
