it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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