I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
