Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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