I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think people are normalizing furries
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
