i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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