It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
