Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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