On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
