Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
