Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
