I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
