So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
