I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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